Derrick Rose Likes The Sweet Stuff
Derrick Rose of Memphis has a diet that would put my fat, needy, ex-girlfriend to shame. According to AOL, Rose came down with a stomach sickness over the weekend; a sickness that his teammates blamed on his odd meal choices:
Rose received treatment from trainers instead of talking to reporters. Shortly after, the school released a statement settling any doubt about his status.
Teammates weren’t too worried.
“He eats Gummy Bears and Starburst for breakfast, and Twizzlers and Honey Buns for dinner. That’s why his stomach hurts,” fellow guard Chris Douglas-Roberts said. “We tell Derrick the whole year, ‘Stop eating so many Gummy Bears and Sour Straws.’ But he can’t. … Nobody eats Gummy Bears more than him.”
Good God. I need an insulin shot after just reading that. What kind of grown-ass man eats gummy bears? And I haven’t had a Twizzler since I was twelve. I hope that Rose brushes his teeth 10 times a day or he’s going to have to spend his NBA signing bonus on a visit to Dr. Isaac Yankem, DDS.
