Yeah, I’m buying that he’s off the LSU squad for good. He hasn’t killed anyone yet, so I think he deserves at the very least, a ninth chance to change his ways. No one held it against me after my gang of ninja prostitutes robbed that bank in Plymouth and left a path of destruction and venereal disease not seen since the gold rush boom-towns of the 1800s (that means you San Francisco). Everybody deserves forgiveness.
Here’s an AP video that details the parting of the ways between Les and Ryan and also gives us some of Ryan’s rather impressive off-the-field issues.
Murray State quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt found out that what’s funny on Police Academy isn’t quite as funny in real life.
Ehrhardt was arrested Wednesday for robbery after pushing a campus officer and taking his ticket book. According to Fox:
Ehrhardt is to appear in court April 29. The charge carries a potential prison term of up to 10 years. Ehrhardt could not be reached for comment.
According to the police report, Ehrhardt said he was bet $20 he wouldn’t take such action against the officer.
You read that last part right true believers. He took a twenty-dollar bet to shove a cop (albeit a campus cop). But hey, it was just a prank, no harm right? You know what else would have been funny? If the cop had tossed him to the ground, beat the crap out of him, and then went around bragging to all the co-eds that he beat up the team’s quarterback. That would have been funny.
The rich girls at Michigan are apparently very good at getting what they want without spending a dime of daddy’s money in the process. According to researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, some Michigan student’s are resorting to casual sex as a way to get stuff. According the study by researcher Daniel Kruger (no I don’t know if he’s Freddy’s little brother):
The exchange of resources for sex—referred to by scientists as nuptial gifts—has occurred throughout history in many species, including humans, Kruger said. The male of the species offers protection and resources to the female and offspring in exchange for reproductive rights. For example, an arranged marriage can be considered a contract to trade resources.
Not that this comes as a big shock to anyone, but what people are trading sex for may be:
The majority of students were well aware of their own attempts to trade reproductive currency, Kruger said. However, if they were in committed relationships, they did not view the partnership as trading in reproductive currencies, he said.
Overall, the strategy of attempting to exchange investment for sex is only successful about 25 percent of the time, the paper found. Some of the attempted trades included: tickets to the U-M versus Ohio State game; studying assistance; laundry washed; a Louis Vuitton bag; and voice lessons among other things.
Maybe Rich Rodriguez can take an idea from this and send a dozen cheerleaders over to Columbus. If girls at Michigan are trading sex for getting their laundry cleaned, can you imagine what the Ohio State football could get them to do if they offered to throw the Ohio State-Michigan game? There would be some football players who would be doing things that are only seen on some of the finer websites for $24.95 a month.
The idea of someone trading voice lessons for sex has got to be a joke. I know; there are about a dozen “oral” lessons, jokes in there, but I’ll leave those alone. But as for a Louis Vuitton bag? Chick could offer to give me the best head of my life and there’s no way that she’s getting a LV. But I do keep some flea market knock-offs under my bed just in case she’s not too bright.
I’d be interested in seeing how this study was compiled. Did he just pass out questionnaire’s, titled “What would you suck dick for? What would you do for tickets? Which is easier working or putting out?”
I’d really like to know so I can start passing out my own.
In the spirit of all the other idiots that treat April 1st like it’s really an f’n holiday for doofuses; Pete Carroll plays an April Fools joke on some members of his team, and especially on defensive end Everson Griffin. Carroll is such a carefree coach. It must be really great to play for him, while he imparts all those little life lessons that a young man will need once he goes on to the big time. You know, things like, getting (possibly) underage girls drunk; or taking money from agents for your parents while you’re in school, and then possibly marrying Kim Kardashian (not sure which of those is worse), or the many other fine decisions that some of his former players have made. It’s true, winning cures all ills.
Terrelle Pryor has chosen Ohio State over Michigan.
I’m pretty indifferent toward this story, other than the fact that I hate Rich Rodriguez, and since Pryor’s kind of sticking it to him, that sort of makes me happy. Not “pleasantly locked in a hotel room with a naked supermodel and unlimited supply of duct tape” happy, but more like, “I’m glad I got that girl with the chickstache to come home from the bar with me” happy.
It’s amazing isn’t it, that people have been waiting around for months just to find out where a high school kid is going to go to college? I’m sure that there are Penn State and Michigan blogs that are killing the guy, and you know what?
That’s a good thing. Pryor has really taken advantage of this whole spectacle to keep his name in the press and to get himself talked about. And while I’m not about making threats toward high school or college kids, and I hope nobody goes down to that level, he does deserve to be criticized for the way that he has kept himself in the media. From calling a press conference to announce that he hadn’t made his mind up, to the announcement today, he’s milked this thing for all that it’s worth, and he deserves some constructive criticism because of that.
What Pryor’s going to have to understand is; if he doesn’t succeed at the next level, he will become the poster child for busts everywhere. If he even coughs on someone in line at the grocery store it’s going to be posted somewhere, and someone is going to have an opinion. Pryor is a tremendous talent, and that talent can take him a long way. But Pryor has put himself in a situation where if he does anything short of parting the Ohio River, some people are going to be disappointed.
That, and am I the only one concerned that his name is Terrelle? That’s like Terrell plus some hot sauce. As long as he doesn’t cry after losses, I guess the name similarity isn’t a big deal. Cue standard T.O. crying video:
