ThreeStrikesandOut

Well, it’s official.  Cynthia Rodriguez filed divorce papers against Alex Rodriguez, claiming among other things, that Rodriguez has “emotionally abandoned” his wife and children:

“The marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband’s extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct,” according to Cynthia Rodriguez’s petition for dissolution of marriage, filed Monday in the family division of Miami-Dade County Circuit Court.

I wonder what tipped her off?  It’s not like there were pictures of him coming out of hotels with strippers or anything…Wait.  I do find it funny that it was the Madonna rumors that were the breaking point.  It’s almost like Cynthia was fine with him banging anonymous baseball groupies, but when it became someone famous, she couldn’t handle it.

Funny thing about this, is the way that Alex is mashing at the plate right now.  For someone who apparently doesn’t like pressure, he’s handling all of this distraction remarkably well.  Too bad the Yankees aren’t going to make the playoffs this year (I’ve resigned myself to it) because he might actually come through this year if they did.

Ironic, huh?

Source

But we will post it anyways.

If you’re a guy and haven’t seen this video of Chris Snyder having his boys abused, you might not want to watch. If you’re a lady and haven’t seen this video, prepare to laugh your pretty little posterior off.

Because I know how cruel women can be.

Wow.  I can’t remember the last time that a major league star was sent back to the minors to work out a slump, but that’s what happened in Atlanta, as the Braves gave free-swinging slugger Jeff Francoeur some time in AA ball to work on his swing.  This happens so rarely that you have to believe that when the Atlanta brass sat him down and asked him about the minors, Frenchy probably hit them with a “what do you mean minor, she looked 18″ excuse before they told him the news.  From the AJC:

that is to help explain why he is back in Mississippi again. Thursday’s demotion to Class AA was, in one way, the Atlanta franchise’s capitulation that it could do no more with him. During the three-minute meeting when Francoeur was notified it was going down, he was given the option to which minor league team he would rather report. It was his easiest answer in weeks…

Francoeur’s slump wasn’t just bad, also according to the AJC:

Baseball slumps may be assorted by shape and size. The one-week Black Cloud Slump. The 10-day Aren’t You Rafael Belliard Slump. The insidious three-week I Can’t Feel My Face Slump.

Francoeur’s Slump — four hits (all singles) in his last 42 at-bats in the majors; .198 in RBI situations — is the rarest of them all, one that catapults a star all the way back into the bushes. He still objects to how the Braves handled the matter, but then freely admits things had grown so bad, he couldn’t even watch himself in the tape room.

They forgot the I can’t find first base slump-Chuck Knoblauch, and the I can’t find first place slump-New York Yankees, not to mention the I’m not hitting; let’s shove the team travel guy slump-Manny Ramirez.  Francoeur was all over the place a couple of years ago as the next big thing, but one has to wonder if he’s feeling a bit rejected and down.  I hear a visit to Madonna can help you out with those; but I’m not saying who told me that.

AJC

Because if it was on PerezHilton you know it’s a story with teeth, but it’s a slow, slow, night and these old episodes of WCW Nitro are making me want to slice my wrists open with jagged glass, so I might as well post on it.

According to the rumors, A-Rod’s been banging Madonna, which 10-15 years ago would have been cool; but now it’s just creepy.  So what’s wife Cynthia doing?  Apparently she’s doing Lenny Kravitz.  Old Romeo Blue himself.  Mr. Lisa Bonet.  From Fox, because I refuse to use Perez’s stuff:

Cynthia has been seeing Lenny Kravitz” — the Grammy-winning singer of the hit song “Are You Gonna Go My Way” — a source told the Web site Perezhilton.com.

The Web site quoted a family friend saying, “Alex is in New York with the Yankees and Cynthia has left their kids to go be with Lenny — not cool.”

Sources told The Post that Cynthia is at the very least very good friends with Kravitz.

Now besides the fact that Perez just make his sources up, this sounds like an incredibly believable story.  He’s banging a has-been musician, so she has to bang a never-was musician.  Yes, I said, a never-was, because Kravitz had enough God-given guitar skill to possibly be one of the best musicians in rock and roll history, and instead he has given us a steady diet of contemporary 70’s ripoff rock, and tries too hard to be a hybrid of Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix.  What a waste.  If I were Kravitz I would kick ass with his life.

Now that my reasons for disliking Kravitz (jealousy) are stated; I really don’t care if C-Rod is on tour with the New Kids on the Block as a groupie, just as long as this B.S. doesn’t get in Alex’s already crowded head.  The Yankees are going to have a hard enough time this season without A-Rod going completely mental and snapping out on every one in sight.  It would be entertaining though, if Alex answered one of the questions about Madonna with this:

“Madonna?  Yeah, I hit it.”

And then went out and mashed a couple of dingers.  Now that would make the Babe proud.

Fox

Kimbo Slice’s next opponent may be Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon, if the story out of Houston is true. Chacon may be looking for a new line of work after going MMA on Astros’ GM Ed Wade. The story ran on Baseball Tonight via the Houston Chronicle and according to the Chronicle, Chacon had this to say about the altercation:

“He started yelling and cussing,” Chacon said of Wade. “I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me. Then I stood up and said ‘you better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him because at that point I wanted to beat his (butt). Words were exchanged.”

I can totally hear Chacon matter-of-factly saying, “so at that point I lost my cool and grabbed him by the neck”, that’s so damn good. Latrell Sprewell, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and Peter Gibbons, all think that Chacon has a slight problem with authority.

Next GM to get choked out? My money’s on Steve Phillips. What’s that? He’s not a GM anymore? Somebody needs to tell him that he’s not. Oh wait, the Mets did that when they fired him a few years back; my bad. Sorry Steve, but you do come off a bit pompous at times, but no hard feelings.

When asked for comment, a non-existent and totally imaginary spectator to the scene said, “I haven’t seen an Astro choke like that since the 2005 World Series.”

As for Chacon, he totally handled this the wrong way. If he’d just hired a random prostitute to choke like everyone else does, this wouldn’t have been a story.

Houston Chronicle