ThreeStrikesandOut

Brock Lesnar won tonight at UFC 87 after pretty much dominating three rounds against Heath Herring. This victory was a great one for Brock, coming in his home of Minnesota, after his disappointing loss in his first fight to Frank Mir. This win gives Lesnar a little bit of wiggle-room in his UFC career, as it’s doubtful that he would have had a whole lot of appeal had he lost this fight in the same fashion that he lost his first one.

This win should give Brock some more credibility with MMA fans who may have been viewing Brock like the the five-legged calf at the country fair. Brock showed off his wrestling ability in this match, and he also showed some striking abiltiy. Brock also showed good stamina in the win, as the match went all three rounds, and in going the distance, he looked much more comfortable than he did in his rookie outing. Now, after this match, it’s really going to be real interesting to see how UFC and Dana White will handle Lesnar. Do they take this win and push him to the moon, or do they continue to let Brock build up some ring experience with a couple of easier opponents?

I would be surprised if White doesn’t put a big campaign behind Lesnar now, because it’s doubtful that his stock will get much higher. Plus, he’s still unproven enough to really lay an egg if given too many fights. Better for Brock to lose a fight against a big name fighter in his next fight that to chance a loss to a no-name and lose the big payday. Strike while the iron is hot, in my opinion. But, Dana White has made a bunch of money and he doesn’t need me to tell him how to run his show. But hey, opinions rule.

Probably the most excited person of all, is the above-pictured Rena Mero-Lesnar, the diva formerly known as Sable, and the cougar lady that Brock calls wifey. You know that she was sweating it out that hubby might have to go back to Vince McMahon and beg for a job if he’d lost this fight. Two words: high-maintenance.

UPDATE: Watch the video of the fight here.

You better be ready Brock.  Because if you don’t do something pretty impressive in this fight you’re going to be yesterday’s news like Madonna and A-Rod (that went away mercifully quick didn’t it?).  I’m hoping you succeed Brock, really I am.  Because I really don’t want to see you have to go to American Gladiators.  That would be bad for all involved.  Because you know that they’d probably put him in a green outfit and call him Gladiator Hulk or something inane like that.  And he could run around going, “Hulk Smash!” all the time, and, and, and…okay, this post sucked. Scratch this post as a learning experiment for us all.  Better luck next time folks, even Hall of Famers strike out sometimes and you can’t be funny all of the time.

And I’ll kill the first smart-ass that says that just being funny sometimes would be a nice start.  I have feelings too, and my ego is as fragile as Brock’s MMA career.

There that was much better.

So what you have here is a couple of old people ranting about MMA dumbing down the culture of the America, and about how this would have never been allowed on TV back in the old days. Of course it wouldn’t have; you didn’t have TV back in the old days. Didn’t have phones either, hell you guys had to wait on tin cans and string to be invented in order to have a means to communicate. Gotta love it when Jane Hall compared the Elite XC and MMA on television to watching a “live execution”. Remember folks that O’Reilly is on the Fox network and we really don’t want to get into some of the stunts that Fox has pulled in order to get viewers.

Contender number one is of course, James “Colossus” Thompson, who saw his cauliflowered ear busted open by Kimbo Slice:

And contender number two comes to you from the WWE’s One Night Stand PPV.  It is the man who fought Floyd Mayweather, and more recently took a Singapore Cane shot to the eye.  An eye that then swelled up like Dolly Parton’s bosom:

Big Show’s eye seriously looks like it’s trying to escape from his face.  I can’t decide which of these is worse.  It’s like trying to decide which to take to bed; Amy Winehouse, or a rotten corpse.  Yeah, I know what you’re saying: that that’s not a hard decision.

The corpse every time.

You wanted blood.

And you got it.

Kimbo Slice beat James Thompson by stoppage, when he busted open Thompson’s already cauliflowered ear like a zit. The announcers claimed that the fight didn’t need to be stopped, and I have to credit Bleacher Report with one of the greatest sports-sentences of all time:

Slice then delivered one to Thompson’s cauliflowered ear, causing it to explode, and just seconds later, doctors stopped the fight, although the only damage to the ear was a little blood and pus dripping out.

Sorry folks, there is no such thing as a little bit of pus dripping out. If they hadn’t stopped this fight and it had gotten even nastier, that decision would have caused many who were watching to think that they were right all along, about the brutality of MMA. Good decision to stop it when they did. Of course the fans weren’t happy, they wanted to see a knockout. Hell, I want to see A-Rod hit a home run every time that he comes to the plate, but I don’t get that, so enjoy the fight, and be glad that your sport had a successful TV debut. I’m really interested to see what the ratings are going to be.