ThreeStrikesandOut

So okay, this is sports-related only in the very loosest definition of the words sports and related, but hey KO used to host SportsCenter, and until just the last year or so, he was still on sports radio with Dan Patrick, so I don’t feel too bad.

The short and the skinny, is that Olbermann loses his mind talking about President Bush not playing golf anymore. Meltdowns are cool. But sonofabitch this one goes on forever.

This would be a great time to bring back Celebrity Deathmatch and do Olbermann Vs. Bush. A claymation Dan Patrick could provide commentary, “En Fuego! En Fuego, The president just set Keith on fire, Oh my God!”. Then Patrick would, of course, have to interfere and try to help his old buddy out, only to find that the two of them fell into Bush’s trap, as he would show them, and the world that he’s been hiding those weapons of mass destruction in the one place that no one would ever look for them.

His pants.

Winner: George W. with the Crotch Rocket to the head for the finish.

Threestrikesandout has no political preference whatsoever. I tend to think that both sides are equally idiotic and agenda-driven, and talk so damn much that they never hear anything. That being said, go vote for somebody, in November. I don’t care who. Vote for Roger ‘freaking Rabbit if you want.

No humor here, just disturbing allegations coming out of Florida.

The father of former Marlins All-Star catcher Charles Johnson has been arrested and accused of molesting two girls ages 12 and 16 who are students at the school where he coaches baseball and teaches math.  According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel:

Fort Pierce Westwood High School math teacher and baseball coach Charles Edward Johnson Sr., 55, has been charged with lewd and lascivious molestation, according to the reports.

Johnson has been the head baseball coach at Westwood for 24 years, first from 1979 to 1994 then from 2002 to this past season. Westwood has been to the state finals once during Johnson’s tenure, back in 1988 when the team finished 21-9 and were beaten by Tampa-Plant in the Class 3A championship game, 12-2.

The family is not commenting and Johnson is denying the claims that have been made against him.  It’s too early to say much about this, so I’ll reserve angry “chop someone’s head off” comments until later, but stories like this one do not have happy endings for anyone involved.  Either he did it, and committed the worst crime that a teacher can commit, or he has had an accusation attached to his name that will probably be permanently attached to him for the rest of his life.  Either two children’s lives have been harmed, or one man’s name has been slandered.

Not good either way that it turns out.

His son, Charles, played for his dad in high school and had a successful  career with the Marlins, Dodgers, Orioles, White Sox, Rockies and Devil Rays.

South Florida Sun-Sentinel

I hope that famous people keep being knuckleheads, because picking the Whiffer of the Week is one of my favorite things, and I’m not really sure why I stopped doing it.  But, that being said, the inspiration for me to bring back the Whiffer had absolutely nothing to do with sports. It had to do with this guy (see below video), who I saw on Don Chavez, o he of all the naked people. I’m sure that there are alot of guys who feel like this dude does, but we…they like getting laid entirely too much to say it.  Honestly, if I’ve ever seen an argument against evolution it’s this guy, whose opinions about women are so Stone Age that he might honestly be the only Neanderthal left in the world. So in honor of the NCAA Women’s Championship tonight between Tennessee/Stanford, I decree that this week’s Whiffer of The Week is Dick Masterson. Dick Master Son. Yeah I’m sure that’s real.  Pat Summitt would totally beat the fuck out of this guy inside the Octagon. And I’m not just calling this guy a loser because I want more women to read the site and think I’m sensitive and sweet.  Really. But I do love puppies and long deep kisses that go on forever.

Warning: Female readers must resist the urge to hit your computer with a shoe.

Also, a memo to the Detroit Tigers: win a game soon fellas, this guy barely nudged out your 0-7 asses for the Whiffer.  Win a game; God knows your payrolls high enough (yeah, a Yankee fan making fun of another team’s payroll, that’s pretty good). 

Don Chavez