ThreeStrikesandOut

Original headline there. But anyways,

In a move that is going to do nothing to hurt his tough guy credibility; former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson was arrested Tuesday after surrendering himself calmly and quietly. Not. The guy’s nickname is Rampage, you know he’s going to start some stuff:

A Costa Mesa patrol officer attempted to pull Jackson over after he was seen weaving in and out of traffic with a flat front left tire, according to a release issued by the Costa Mesa Police Department. Jackson, 30, continued driving to avoid being stopped. Losing control of the truck, Jackson drove up onto a sidewalk. He continued on, colliding with a vehicle in an intersection and running several red lights.

Eventually, the truck came to a stop and Jackson, originally of Memphis, Tenn., was arrested without incident at gunpoint.

I love that last part, “was arrested without incident at gunpoint”.  Yeah, he was probably compliant with a gun in his face.  I wonder if the cop knew who it was, because if I saw a car driving all crazy, crash, and then Rampage got out of the car looking all crazy, I might be tempted to go ahead and shoot first.

Rampage said something incoherent about drugs, a chemical explosion, and not being responsible for his actions, but it made no sense to anyone.  That is, until he transformed into a giant lizard, knocked a helicopter out of the sky, and ate five pedestrians crossing the road.

SI

Good thing: Being supportive of your kids when they screw up.

Bad thing: Having your head so far up your 25-year-old’s rear end that you begin to suspect that you will, indeed, never see the sun again.

From the AP, here’s Matt Jones’s dad on his son’s being arrested for cocaine possession:

“We want to make it clear that Matt was not in possession of any drugs, but that there were drugs in the vehicle and were located in the closest proximity to Matt,” Steve Jones said in a statement Thursday posted on the Web site of KWNA television station in Fayetteville. “He does not claim any responsibility for the drugs.”

But that’s not what the po-po say:

Police say he was inside a car cutting up cocaine with a credit card before he was arrested.

I expect Matt to deny. That’s what guys do; we deny, deny, deny. We lie a lot.

I claim no responsibility for that Brazilian stripper I used to hang with, either. I think her name was Destiney. I know that destiny doesn’t have an “e” in it, but she didn’t know, and there are better things to do with a drugged-up stripper than give her English lessons. She gets enough of that junk at community college. But, it was a good time, and to this day my girl has no idea.

Until now.

That was pretty dumb of me to admit that here.

Thanks a lot Steve Jones. If you’re idiot son wasn’t a druggie my love life wouldn’t be falling apart in front of the entire Internet. Knucklehead. By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that Steve Jones is actually this Steve Jones (right) of Sex Pistols fame:

Then I would totally get it that his son is snorting lines off of his Visa.

So this week’s sniffer…whiffer of the week goes to Steve Jones. Keep on enabling daddy. We’ll see how innocent Matty is when he steals your plasma screen. We’ll see how well those Jones Family Values work out for you then.

Two of these three are people that I really hate. The other one is Nelly. That should tell you all that you need to know:

Seriously?  Dana, Skip, and Nelly?  They’re not even trying anymore.  But, they did a great job getting a hate group together.  I mean; Catholics hate Dana, musicians hate Nelly, and everyone on the planet hates Skip, so I guess there’s a link.

Some Green Bay Packers’ fans are just gluttons.  Gluttons for punishment that is.  A small crowd of Green Bay/Brett Favre fans are trying to make the Pack change their stance on whether or not King Brett should be allowed to change him mind again:

The rally in Green Bay, Wis., was the brainchild of brothers Adam and Erick Rolfson, who on Friday tried to think of a way to keep Favre in Green Bay. Another rally is planned for Monday night in suburban Milwaukee and every Sunday thereafter at Lambeau Field until Favre is back.

The brothers also are demanding an emergency meeting of stockholders “to help control the fate of our quarterback,” Erick Rolfson said….

The Web site is selling “Favre 08″ shirts, bumper stickers and yard signs. Erick Rolfson, 32, plans to turn his Wauwatosa mortgage company into “Favre ‘08 Headquarters.”

“Last time we checked,” he said, “Green Bay is a publicly owned franchise and is owned by the people in the community and by the stockholders, not Ted Thompson.”

Hmmm.  And I’m sure that the proceeds for such sales are all going to a special “keep Brett here” fund right?  Of course it is.  Green Bay fans need to quit being Dante.  Caitlin is a slut, she’s always been a slut, and if you take her back she’s going to cheat on you again at the end of the season.  (See Clerks for explanation of metaphor).  Favre does this to your team every year.  One year (probably this one) he’s going to come back and you’re going to wish that he hadn’t.  There was a Green Bay Packers team before Brett Favre, and it’s dangerous to tie your fandom too close to one player or it’s going to lead to a rough adjustment when that player is ready to go.  Colts’ fans will have to say good-bye to Peyton one day, Pats’ fans will have to say good-bye to Tom Brady and yes, Yankees’ fans will have to say good-bye to Derek Jeter one day.  Brett has been the one who has turned this whole thing into a circus.  He’s made himself more important than the team, and isn’t that something that other athletes are often vilified for?

Fox

Greatest, quote, ever:

“He’s a very impressive-looking guy,” Sikahema said. “But the guy is a walking corpse, because he’s rotted inside out. He’s a pathetic figure.”

That was former Philadelphia Eagle Vai Sikahema who knocked out Jose Canseco in front of a less than full crowd Saturday night. Less than 25 percent of the 5000 available seats were full to see Canseco get knocked out with extreme prejudice. In less than one minute Canseco was knocked down twice and the fight was stopped. The 35,000 dollar purse went to Vai, who will donate 25,000 of it to the widow of a police sergeant who was killed in the line of duty.

I’m amazed that there are that few people who will pay to see Canseco get his head kicked in. If I had been anywhere close to Atlantic City, I would have definitely had my entourage in tow and we would have been making it reign throughout Jersey.

Somewhere A-Rod and Mark McGuire are laughing and exchanging hi-fives.

When video becomes available I’ll post it, but here’s some stills until then:

(Added: Now with some fight footage): (more…)