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Archive for the ‘Rants’

Shaq’s Calling It Quits (Just Not Now)

September 11, 2008 By: rock Category: NBA, Rants No Comments →

EGO sum perfectus. (I am finished, from the Latin.)

Well.  Almost.

Shaq announced that although he is finished with basketball; he’s going to finish off the last two years on his contract and then call it a day.  Then he will vanish into the night, never to be heard from again.

Yeah, whatever.  I’ll believe it when it happens.  Not the part about Shaq retiring.  I believe that.  What I’ll have to see to believe is Shaq playing two more seasons.  Shaq’s become the equivalent of having brontosaurus on the basketball court.  He’s slow, immobile, and a liability at the free throw line. (That last one’s always been the case, but the other two used to cover for it.)

It’s another great publicity move by Shaq though.  I mean, why wait until your last season to announce your retirement and get a big send-off, when you can announce it two seasons early and get to be the big story for an extra year.

Brilliant.

Now Shaq can spend the next two years pimping himself with new releases of bad CDs and probably a bad movie or two as he tries to set himself up for life after basketball.  You don’t really think that Shaq’s going to be content to dissipate into the desert and fight crime for 30 thousand a year do you?

There’s as good a chance of that happening as there is of Shaq going 70 percent from the free throw line and playing in 3/4 of the Suns’ games this season.

ESPN

Vince Young>Waldo And The Pac Man Jones Effect

September 09, 2008 By: rock Category: NFL, Rants No Comments →

“You guys go on, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Well, it’s been an interesting day or two in the land of the Tennessee Titans.

First, there was the controversy from Sunday’s game about whether or not Vince Young tried to bail out of the game when he could still play. That spectacle was followed up by Young getting his leg injured and being replaced by Kerry “the Giants got to the Super Bowl in spite of me” Collins. And then there was the strawberry on the cheesecake.

VY went missing. Now that most of the speculation has been run through, rumors have been exchanged, and alien abduction has indeed been ruled out as a reason for Vince’s absence, let’s look at where everything stands shall we? From the Tennessean:

According to Metro Police spokesman Don Aaron, Fisher had been alerted after a friend of Young’s contacted the coach around 7 p.m. Monday night. Young eventually made contact with Fisher, and the two met around midnight with Metro police officials at Baptist Sports Park. The psychologist informed the team that Young was extremely depressed and there was reason to be concerned about him. “Given the totality of the situation, Coach Fisher was concerned about Young’s emotional well-being. He contacted the police department and expressed to us his concern,’’ Aaron said. “Once he came to Baptist Sports Park and was assessed, it appeared the concerns from earlier in the night were unfounded.’’

Coach Fisher said on his radio show that the whole thing had been a little overblown and that Vince was watching football at a friends. He also said that he was contacted by Vince’s friends/family with concerns about him, he said that he didn’t want to go into details and that’s pretty understandable.

Now the rumors about Vince having a gun in the car?

Apparently, they were true. Also from the Tennessean:

Young had a handgun in the glove compartment of his vehicle, but it was not loaded and Aaron said officers had no concerns about Young trying to harm himself. It is not against the law in Tennessee to transport an unloaded firearm with no ammunation present in a motor vehicle, Aaron said.

“The fact the gun was in the glove compartment and was unloaded did not present an issue for the officers,’’ Aaron said. “There was no ammunition in the car. The gun was unloaded. The slide was back in a safe position, and it was in the glove box.’’

I’m sorry, but I still don’t feel that good about Vince carrying a gun around in his glove compartment, whether it was loaded or not. It’s just not a sign of good judgment. I’m not going to make a big deal out of this whole thing, because maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe Jeff Fisher did over-react. Maybe Vince just got nominated for Worst Weekend Ever and in a couple of weeks he’ll be fine. But there’s one thing to consider in all of this mess that is being over-looked.

Pac Man Jones no longer lives in Nashville.

Why is that important? It’s simple. For the past two seasons (coincidentally, the same number of years that Vince Young has been quarterback, there have been very few sports stories to come out of Nashville that did not have the name Adam Jones attached to them. Pac Man punches a stripper. Pac Man makes it rain. Pac Man gets arrested. Pac Man spits on woman. Pac Man involved in shooting. Pac Man suspended. Pac Man wrestling. Pac Man traded.

Gobble, gobble, gobble. It was Adam Jones 24/7. He wasn’t the pink elephant in the corner of the room that no one talked about, he was the big-breasted stripper in the middle of the room that no one could get enough of. Every time that people were talking about the Titans they were talking about Pac. Every time that Jeff Fisher was hit with a question, it was usually by some beat reporter who wanted to know what the Titans planned on doing with Pac if/when he was reinstated.

And all the while, Vince Young’s struggled with his mechanics, his health, and his numbers. But, with Hurricane Adam always in the news, that story was little more than an after-thought.

Then Pac became Adam and was exiled to Dallas.

You could see the switch almost immediately. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, and I’m sure that the Titans don’t want to (and wouldn’t) admit it, Pac Man Jones was the biggest star in Nashville. Was that a negative? For the team yes. For VY? Maybe not. Check that statement. It absolutely was not a bad thing that Pac Man Jones was the biggest story in Nashville. Because when Adam left, Vince Young found himself as the face of the franchise.

Suddenly, Vince Young became the star of this team (like he was supposed to be all along.) And the criticism started immediately.

People began to call him a coach-killer when Norm Chow was fired for not making Vince a better quarterback.

Vince’s statement that he considered retiring after his rookie year, was publicized and analyzed, and there were more than a few people who questioned how this statement would affect Young’s ability to lead a team. Would his teammates be able to follow a man who might quit on them? Young said that his comments were taken out of context, that he loved football, and was in no way considering quitting. Some believed him and some shook their head and questioned his leadership and mental toughness. The NFL is a hard game and the Ryan Leafs and Tim Couches of the world quickly found out, if you’re not mentally tough, you’re career will be short and forgettable.

The pictures of him dancing shirtless, mamba-ed their way across the Internet, and the whispers got a little louder.

He struggled in the pre-season, he looked flustered, unsure of himself, and the whispers turned into to discussions on talk radio about whether or not Young would ever improve enough to justify his draft pick, whether he could learn to be a good quarterback, whether he would ever work out in Nashville.

Then, in game one of the NFL season, against rival Jacksonville, the whispers turned to boos, and Young, who has succeeded at every level he has been at, had to deal with the fact that some of his own team’s fans didn’t think that he was good enough to be their quarterback. There was the altercation on the sideline between him and coach Fisher, with many sources reporting that Young did not want to go back in the game. That he didn’t want to be put in a position to receive more abuse. But, he went back into the game.

And then he was carted off the field after injuring his leg.

And then the police were sent out to find him.

Sunday was a crossroads for Vince Young. He’s going to have a couple of weeks (or more) to heal, but more importantly he’s going to have a couple of weeks to evaluate his career. There are quite a few people who think that Kerry Collins should be the quarterback of this team. That he’s more experienced and has better leadership skills.

To those people I would simply ask, “Are you smoking crack?”

Let me remind you that this is the same Kerry Collins who allegedly told former Giants GM Ernie Accorsi that the reason he quit on the Carolina Panthers was because he didn’t like the uniforms. From Inside the Panthers:

According to the book, Collins told Accorsi, “Ernie, I dreamed about playing in the National Football League all my life. The Eagles, the Giants, the Redskins, the Bears. But I found myself playing for the Carolina Panthers, wearing this funny-looking uniform, and I didn’t even feel like I was in the NFL. That started my problems.”

No thanks.

As a Titans fan, I want Vince to get straightened out and be the quarterback. Although I don’t personally know Vince, and therefore cannot vouch for him honestly, he seems like a pretty good guy, with a pretty good sense of values. I want to see him succeed. God knows he has the physical tools. But, he’s got to have the mental tools as well.

Dealing only in basic scenarios there are two ways that this whole thing can go. Vince can come back, take the ball from center and win games. Whatever other criticisms are levied, I’ve got Vince’s back on that one; the guy has a knack for winning. If he wins, plays decent-well, and the team succeeds all this negativity will slither away and he’ll be able to rest easy. But if he comes back and looks like A-Rod trying to hit with the bases loaded, he’s going to have problems. Because it’s not just Nashville that’s going to be watching and waiting. The whole NFL is going to be watching to see how Vince handles the pressure.

In a couple of weeks, we’re going to find out who the real Vince Young is and where his NFL career is going to take him. The critics are slobbering for his failure, and his supporters are more than a little nervous.

I may be critical, but I’m not a critic. I still think that Vince is my team’s quarterback and that he can be a superstar. But he’s going to have to get out of his own way.

Double Clutchin’-The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly After Richmond

September 08, 2008 By: rock Category: FastMachines, NASCAR, Rants No Comments →

Well, that race certainly doesn’t leave me with much room to complain.

The NASCAR regular season closed itself out on Sunday with one slobberknocker of an event at Richmond.  In one of the better races of the season, Jimmie Johnson held off Tony Stewart to win his second race in a row and set himself up to make a legitimate run at his third straight championship, which is kind of impressive.  Kind of impressive in the same way that walking into a frat party with a Playboy Bunny on your arm is impressive.  Anyways, the Rock and Roll 400 had a little bit of entertainment for everyone, so let’s get started with the G, B, and U:

The Good:

I’ve already made an argument that we may not really appreciate how good Jimmie Johnson is, so I’m not going to go over that again, but when you’re the best driver on a team that has a four-time champ and the son of Dale Earnhardt, you’re probably going to be a tad bit under the radar.

It doesn’t matter whether or not Dale Junior intentionally crashed Kyle Busch or not, the fact is that the timing of it couldn’t be funnier.  The guys in the booth had just finished talking about how if Junior was going to get payback that this would not be the time he would get it, and then the next thing you know, Kyle goes for a teacups ride.  For the record, I don’t really think that DE88 did it on purpose, but the Kyle Busch haters in the crowd really could have cared less.

The rest of this post can be viewed at FastMachines.com.  Thanks!

The NFL Weekend-What’s Important, What’s Not

September 07, 2008 By: rock Category: NFL, Rants No Comments →

After every week of goodylicious NFL action, TSAO will try to separate the really important stuff from the stuff that others will try to pawn off on you as being important but really isn’t. Got it? Good. Let’s get to it.

IMPORTANT: Tom Brady’s injury:

This is important, because the Patriots didn’t look incredibly good on Sunday, and when Brady went out, they were lucky to hold off a Kansas City team that would have a hard time beating that gritty, gutty East Carolina squad that beat WVU. Without Brady, whose injury is rumored to be season-ending, the Patriots are left looking at Matt Cassel and Chris Simms and having to choose one of them to play and not model clipboards. Vegas is now taking bets on how long before we get a Randy Moss melt-down, as a result of no one being there to get him the football. When you look on the list of the worst things that could happen to the Patriots, this was right above Brady dumping Gisele for Jessica Simpson.

NOT IMPORTANT: Brett Favre beating the Dolphins.

Memo to Jets fans, the Dolphins are still pretty bad, and they had a shot to beat you as the clock ran out. Favre was pretty good, but the best thing to happen to you was Tom Brady’s injury. The Patriots lack of of quarterback is going to do more to improve the Jets’ chances of making the playoffs than their addition of Brett Favre is going to do. Favre’s performance was good, but it does not mean that the Jets are Super Bowl bound, despite what John Madden may believe.

IMPORTANT: Carolina steals a victory from the Chargers.

This game was important on two levels. First, Carolina showed for the first time in years that they can win without Steve Smith. They also showed that they are going to be a team that is capable of going on the road and beating a good team.

Second, this game is important because of what it means to the Chargers. The Chargers’ offense performed well, Phillip Rivers had three touchdowns and LT had 97 yards, but the Charger D could not hold when it was needed. Shawne Merriman had two tackles, and one has to wonder if all the speculation about him playing/not playing has caused this defense to be a little bit distracted. The Chargers gave up nearly 400 yards of total offense, 142 of which was on the ground, to a team that was without their most dynamic player. Plus, this is a sign that Norv Turner can still be counted on to choke in a close game.

NOT IMPORTANT: The Eagles destroy the St. Louis Rams 38-3.

The Rams suck. Donovan McNabb is fantastic when he’s healthy. Two things that I already knew. Check back with me in five weeks, one of these things will still be applicable. And no, I don’t see the Rams improving.

IMPORTANT: The Saints beat Tampa Bay 24-20.

This win was important to the Saints because their slow start last season kept them from making the playoffs and they avoided a repetition of that start with this victory (thank you Captain Obvious). But, more importantly, they avoided the slow start that their offense got off to last season, as they hit the Bucs up for 438 total yards, 163 of which came from Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend Reggie. If Bush finally has his breakthrough season, the Saints should run away with this division. (more…)

Tom Brady Out For Season

September 07, 2008 By: rock Category: NFL, Rants 2 Comments →

That sound that you’re hearing? It’s a very biblical, wailing and gnashing of teeth that is coming not only from the city of Boston, but from all of those fantasy players who couldn’t believe their luck when they landed Tom Brady’s massive stats for their mythical teams.

When Kansas City safety Bernard Pollard rolled into Brady’s knee and Brady was helped from the field, it was the kind of moment that screamed out “season-ender” and that is apparently, if the AP is any good, what the injury will be.

Brady, 31, went to the locker room and was not seen again on the sideline as backup Matt Cassel led the Patriots to a 17-10 victory. The two-time Super Bowl MVP was not available for comment after the game, and coach Bill Belichick said he had nothing to add to the in-game announcement that it was a knee injury.

I’ll believe it when I see game 16 pass by and there has been no Tom Brady. I’m sure that when Brady signed that contract with the devil, that there was something in there about the ability to regenerate lost limbs, and if that is the case he’ll just cut his leg off and grow another, at most he’ll be out two weeks, and that’ll just give him a little extra Gisele time.

Boston knows that you can’t really hurt Tom Brady, that’s not the reason they’re crying and moaning. They’re crying and moaning because this guy:

Is probably going to be their quarterback.

Well Boston, at least it looks like the Red Sox may catch the D-Rays.  That’ll get you through September and October anyways.


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