ThreeStrikesandOut

No, not that rapier. The real kind that you hit people with. Wait a minute, let me try that again. The kind that you stick into people. No, that wasn’t any better, forget it. Anyways, Beckham has taken up fencing at the request of Scientologists Tom Cruise and Will Smith (yeah, I know he says he’s not, but come on), and according to Smith, the three meet quite often to “ahem” cross swords:

Smith told the Daily Mirror: “We don’t get enough time for hanging out, just us three guys, so this is his way of getting together and bonding. David and I go to his home and just do fencing. It’s a lot of fun.

Xbox 360 is fun. Having sex with random groupies is dangerous. Either is preferable to fencing. If I wanted to be poked with a little prick I’d…never mind.  But, maybe Beckham has another reason for learning the ancient art, if these rumors of a pending terrorist attack against the soccer star are true. From NewKerala.com:

Reports gathered by MI6 suggests an attack on the holiday destination of Dubai, where Beckham and other stars have homes, could be imminent, reports the Daily Star.

The Foreign office has raised the level of threat faced by the United Arab Emirates from ‘general’ to ‘high’.

This scenario sounds like the making of a bad movie to me.  Tom Cruise is an FBI agent with a Jones for danger, Will Smith is a smart mouth cop who’s close to suspension, and their paths cross while trying to prevent terrorists from kidnapping soccer superstar Beckham who no matter how they try, refuses to keep a low profile.  God, that reads like the possible script to Lethal Weapon IV.  If this script gets used, I’m totally going to sue someone.

Telegraph

I always wanted to use the word miscreant.

In proof positive that the youth of today have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, there is a report that soccer legend Pele got robbed of some of his gear.  According to AOL:

Soccer legend Pele was held at gunpoint by a band of youths who robbed his gold necklace, cell phone and a watch, local news media reported Sunday.

Damn it, I bet his grandmomma gave him that chain.  These youths apparently had no idea who he was, and more than that they did not care:

When the assailants approached his car, Pele rolled down the window and told them who he was, but they robbed him anyway, according to the Veja report.

I don’t know much about soccer, but I do know that growing up Pele was the man.  Hell, he’s got his own kick named after him:

I almost feel sorry for the guys who did this; because as seriously as Brazil takes soccer they might get the death penalty when they get caught.