ThreeStrikesandOut

Since real sports pretty much suck until the Cavs-Celts and the Darlington race take place later tonight, let’s check in on our favorite “What the bleep did he just say” big man, The Great Khali. At home in India, Khali took the time to visit a group of children, and I’m sure that up until Khali’s visit they thought that the giant in Jack and the Beanstalk was just a metaphor for conquering obstacles. Now that they know that he’s actually real, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have nightmares for the rest of their lives, about gigantic bow-legged men who speak in alien languages. This is one of the funniest videos that I’ve seen in awhile, and there is not an intentionally funny moment in it. The Great Khali=Comedic Gold. Seriously, though, good job with the kids big guy, but you could have looked a little less angry when the kids were gathered around you; I thought that you were going to pluck one of them out of the crowd and devour them.

Okay, one more post. Just saw the video of Hulk Hogan testifying at his son’s hearing for almost killing someone in his car, and I just had one question: who in the hell wears a do-rag to their son’s trial? You’re Hulk Hogan, not a Hell’s Angel.  He’s lucky that Nick didn’t get electrocuted. Or locked in a steel cage against King Kong Bundy, like Hogan was at Wrestlemania II, brother!

I think that Nick’s actual punishment is that he has to write “I will not drive like Danica anymore”, one million times on a chalkboard. Without a dictionary to help him spell the hard words. Our justice system is the stuff.

WWE lumbering big man The Great Khali (and co-star of the not-so-classic remake of The Longest Yard) is going to have some issues when he gets back to his home of India.  The big guy left India to pursue a career in WWE, and in doing so, he left his job working for the Indian police force.  Not a problem, right?

Well, maybe it is, since he’s been taking sick leave for about two years.  According to DNAIndia.com:

Khali, posted at the Punjab Armed Police headquarters in Jalandhar, had taken ex-India leave for six months in 2006 to visit the US. Additional DGP  Rajan Gupta said he later sought an extension of six months’ leave on medical grounds. “But there has been no word from him after that. Surely that’s not discipline,” he told DNA.

What is more, while he has been earning in the millions — dollars, not rupees — Khali has also been receiving his monthly salary of Rs15,000 from the Punjab police regularly.

MF’r that guy was on the police force?  Forget that, he was the police force. That SOB is huge. I’m reminded of the great exchange between Andre The Giant and Billy Crystal in The Princess Bride:

Miracle Max: Go away or I’ll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I’m on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: You *are* the Brute Squad!

I do have to question the account that Khali makes millions of dollars.  Floyd Mayweather’s $20 million dollar payday at Wrestlemania thinks that number is inflated.