ThreeStrikesandOut

If LeBron were to steal Tom Brady’s girl, he would not only become my new favorite basketball player, he might become my favorite human being ever.  Cause let’s face it, stealing Gizzy from Tom would beat the hell out of anything Mother Theresa ever did.

If it wasn’t for the Bunch action, appearing on the cover of Vogue would hurt LeBron’s rep; as it is, it totally enhances his cred to be seen back-dooring Brady’s chick.  Slam Dunk.  Sure it’s just a magazine cover.  Keep telling yourself that Tom.  And I’m sure that losing the Super Bowl was just one game.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

The idea of a Brady/Gisele possible sex tape is sure to titillate; but remember the source, and the source is, HIT IT FLAV!

Come and get your New York Post
New York Post right here
Come on y’all
Get the bost stubost stubost
Coasta coasta New York Post.

So that being said, the New York Post has an article about a nightspot in New York that apparently has been taping one of it’s “ahem” private rooms for “ahem” security reasons:

PHILIPPE on East 60th Street has allegedly videotaped celebrity customers as they frolicked in what they thought was a private room. The restaurant’s private wine cellar is outfitted with hidden security cameras. And employees at the Chinese eatery have screened the videos after the stars leave, says an (more…)

Thank you Baby Jesus there’s a football game today.  Finally.  This two weeks break between the championship games and the Super Bowl has got to be done away with.  It’s bad enough that I’ve got to actually start paying attention to the NBA after today, but to have to put up with all the hype for one game is ridiculous.  By the time the game tonight rolls around it’ll be a relief to get it over with.  Unless Tom Brady gets broken in half that is.  Ah who am I kidding, everybody knows that Tom Brady can’t be killed by conventional means.  Hell, he’s probably a robot and Belichick probably has about five more of them in his hotel closet.  Right next to all the videotapes.  And the porn.  And the Peyton Manning Voodoo Doll that he bought on eBay a few years ago.  And all of the unread issues of GQ.  And his morals.  Oh yeah, and his dress-up hoody.  You know, the one for special occasions like church, meeting with NFL brass, or meeting the president after kidnapping another Lombardi trophy.  Damn that’s alot of stuff.

According to ESPN the Giants are suffering from a flu bug that has hit several members of the team:

“Guys are taking medicine and doing everything they can do,” Pierce said. “We’re still talking about Monday. We’ve got six days left for the game. If those guys have to be out there, I think they’d be out there. If we had a game to play, they’d be able to play.”  Coughlin is hopeful the worst in over for the flu, but he has his medical people working overtime.

Flu.  Right.  Come on now.  We all know that this is just more of Tom Brady weaving his evil spell over the G-Men so that he can have another Super Bowl MVP on the trophy case.  He mixed together some lizard tails, a scorpion’s stinger, and a supermodel’s panties in a big cauldron and now the Giants are fighting “the flu”.  Yeah, whatever.  But I know the truth and Tom Brady knows it.  Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if by Super Bowl Sunday half the Giants had diseases straight out of National Geographic.  Better take your polio and smallpox vaccines gentlemen, we already know the Pats don’t play fair.

I’m actually going to have to defend Tom Brady.  I think I’m going to be sick…oh well at least I’m already medicated.  In a column for the L.A. Times, columnist Bill Plaschke (yeah the guy from Around the Horn) goes on the tired diatribe about how Brady couldn’t play in the same time as some of the greats, about how Brady benefits from softer rules, plays in a pass-oriented game, blah, blah, blah.  Look; if Brady played back then he would have probably been a freaking linebacker.  Those guys were tiny and with the advances made in nutrition (and steroids) you can’t compare yesterdays player to today’s, period.  And of all the people to quote to extoll Johnny Unitas’s greatness he picks someone objective…Johnny Unitas Jr.  Are you kidding me.  Look I think Brady is a pretty-boy whiner who probably wears silk jammies to bed, but even I’ll admit that he’s the best quarterback of this era and stacks up against the greats in every category.  This is just another old-timer trying to sell me on why everything was always better in the past.  No it wasn’t.  Brady deals with more media pressure, more complicated offenses, and bigger, smarter defenses than Unitas ever did.  I’m not slagging Unitas; his record stands for itself; I’m just saying that it’s ridiculous to try to compare today’s athletes to those of the past.  That being said, I still hate Tom Brady.  But I must be fair about it.  Now I’m going to see if I can shower and see if I can wash the Boston off of me.